One of the things I have been experiencing lately is that there can be more than one way. More than one truth. That what we think is the right way doesn’t make the other way wrong. Let me give you a couple of examples.
Chogyam Rinpoche was a leading Tibetan Buddhist teacher I remember when I first heard about him. A friend was telling me that he was a great teacher but he was openly drinking, doing cocaine and sleeping with some of his students. I felt completely discouraged to read his books or learn more about his brilliant legacy. Recently I did a course and one of the required books was his book “Cutting through Spiritual Materialism” and my view completely shifted. It was not either or. He drank and was a great teacher. Why couldn’t he be both?
I think most of us have a hard time with this concept of accepting many truths. This happens usually when we feel very passionate about something. But what if there is no right or wrong? Just something in between.
Our partners are the best teachers- because we are constantly right and they are constantly wrong and there is only space for one truth in the table.
My husband and I have been talking about having children. He doesn’t want them yet for a number of reasons. All those reasons sounded like excuses to me and what was real for me was the fact that I’m getting older.
I have done a ton of internal work around it. So much so that I can share this with you today. I did Tonglen, the practice of breathing somebodies pain and giving them our love for like a month. Being open to breathe in his reality has shifted and given a depth to our relationships we didn’t have before. I remember once sitting just listening to him talk, which is pretty unusual because as you can imagine I'm the talker and when he finished he hugged me and thanked me so much for listening. I really hadn't listened to him before that day.
I have created space in my heart for both of us. One of the things he believes is "the world doesn’t need more people, we are very happy and don’t need anything else in the world" and I believe "we are so happy we should share our love and the world needs more good people" (which is what I hope we can make)
But what if we are both right? As I give this space in my life to hold more than one truth and trust deeply. I’m sure things will settle the way they need to settle and it just doesn't feel as painful anymore.
So my invitation today is to create space in your hearts and minds were two ideas that might contradict each other can hold a place. Try skipping the labels.