Giving advice to a mother when you are not a mother is like telling a Jewish joke and not being Jewish. It’s usually not funny and taken the wrong way.

Yet, I’m going on a limb here because I’ve reached the age were many of my friends are having kids, I’m an aunt and looking at things from the outside it’s really easy to have an opinion.

For the love of your children, stop doing what other people expect you to do, stop doing what you think you should do and start doing more of what makes your life easier. Take the short cut. Do what gives you enough time to take deep breathes and show up as “Ferrari Mom” (not so much physically, but mentally). Put to rest the quilt trip that apparently is born as soon as the baby is born.

Parenting is a huge responsibility (I know nothing about) but self-care is a part of it and most mothers forget completely. I’ve heard plenty of times the metaphors that you cannot serve from an empty vase or that you need to put on the oxygen mask first but for some reason you all seem to forget so here is me, reminding you.

Give yourself spa days maybe at a fancy hotel or just a really long shower that includes a self-massage. Go to dinner with friends and talk about things that are not your kids, not because I mind I swear I’m used to it and I’m sure all your non parent friends are too but you probably need a reminder that before being a mother you were a friend, wife, daughter, sister… Go on date nights with your husbands find a sitter or maybe put the kids to sleep and open a good bottle of wine. Whatever rocks your boat, do more of that and a bit less of what you think you NEED to do.

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