It’s scary shit to become a Mother- no operation instructions included. All our vulnerabilities, fears and traumas rise to the surface and the gap between who we were, who we think we would be and who we are might be bigger than we imagined.
I’m on week 38 of my pregnancy one of the stages in my life I have enjoyed the most (I feel like a unicorn, a really pregnant unicorn) and so many people ask me “are you ready?” If the question where “do you have all the material things in line?” my answer would be “probably and I can Amazon Prime the rest” but “are you ready?” how can you ever be truly ready for the unknown? By being completely open I guess would be the right answer.
But I made myself a list of reminders because that is what I do when I need to feel a little more control over what is to come. A list that will probably change with time. One that I might look back and laugh at or one that I might print and have on my nightstand. I’m not sure.
I am enough and whole exactly as I am.
Say Yes to Help and then let go of the expectations of how that help needs to be.
Build a Tribe that makes you feel loved and supported (Even if you have to pay for a portion of it)
You will feel guilt, shame and regret. Learn from it but mostly be Kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can and that is good enough even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Your husband is doing the best he knows how. Even if that doesn’t ever feel like enough. Treat your relationship like the foundation on which you will balance and juggle. Be gentle with your words and show love through your eyes.
Every stage will bring a challenge and a blessing. Focus on the blessing.
You will shed skin like a snake. Give it time to get comfortable in this new skin and pay attention to the relationships that matter.Mostly the relationship with yourself.
Teach from a place of love not fear. Less with words and more by example. Learn from a place of openness and curiosity.
Relax into it. Even if it feels like you are relaxing into a prickly cactus. The more calm you bring to the table, the more calm you will eat.
When you look at your body think about it like a Miracle making Space Suit that you are living in. And the way you talk to it and treat it will probably be how your daughter talks and treats her body.
It’s ok to lose your shit. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to not feel ok. Welcome all of it.
Practice deep gratitude. Long Inhales. Slow exhales.
This is a separate little person. Don’t take her cries, words or actions too personally.
Carve your own path into motherhood. Only you get to decide what that looks and feels like.
When you feel like you are drowning. Go out in nature, Play your favorite song, Dance, Jump, Scream to the top of your lungs, shake, take a bath, massage your whole body with oil, meditate, paint, journal, bake, pray, cry…..
Comparing and Judging will make you miserable.
Fear mixes really well with Faith. In other words “Let go and Let God”